So every (marriage) system is probably also according to the custom of the situation, of the land that they live in. It did not necessarily come from the order of the religion, of that religion. Probably at that time, everybody must marry, and marriage was very highly valued in their custom, so, if this order goes against the trend of society, they might not be able to survive.
You have enough food, enough drink? (Yes, Master. Thank You.) You feel OK? (Yes.) Good answer. You know already, otherwise… (Yes.)
I have a duck-feeding system. Duck-people, they only like bread, I think, they don’t like anything else. The swan-people maybe like lettuce, spinach or some sprouts. But they don’t really... Mostly they like just lettuce – fresh, crunchy lettuce. They love it.
I just happened to open it actually. “The Customer is Always Right,” it says. A man walks into a bank and says to the clerk, “I want to open a bloody account, you total, utter moron!” Whoa, my God! “I’m sorry, sir,” says the clerk, taken aback. “I’m sorry, sir. What do you mean?” So the customer says, “I said, I want to open a bloody account, you dimwitted fool!” Offended very much by the attitude of the man, the clerk warns the customer that he doesn’t have to put up with this sort of abuse, and left, he just left the customer there. So, returning with the manager, he explains the situation to the manager. “Well, sir, it seems we have a problem,” says the manager to the customer. “You are right!” says the man, the customer. A man again! I find men everywhere, except in my life. Lucky! “You’re right,” says the man. “I have won 50 million quid (pounds), and I want to open an account with you, sir.” The manager says, “I see!” Says the manager, “I see! 50 million quid (pounds)!” And he looks at his clerk: “So, it’s this idiot here that’s the problem, then.” The clerk is the problem. The customer is always right, especially when you have 50 million quid. OK, now I know it. Something else? Anything here? I don’t know, whatever. I haven’t read them, so I can’t act it out for you.
“Too Close.” A guy goes into a girl’s house, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make some drinks. As he’s standing there alone, he notices a vase on the mantelpiece. He picks it up, and as he’s looking at it, she walks back in. So, he asks her, “What is this?” “Oh, my father’s ashes are in there,” she replies. Turning red, he apologizes. And she continues, “Yeah, he’s too lazy to go to get an ashtray.” Not too bad, is it?
It says, “Works like a Charm.” A man approaches a beautiful woman in a supermarket, and asks her, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you please talk to me for a few minutes?” “Why?” the woman asks him. “Oh, you know, because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife will appear out of nowhere.” Otherwise, he couldn’t find her. Yeah, it happens. It’s possible. There’s another one for the feminists like us. Because they talk about men all the time, but there’s one for women here. Can’t complain!
Scientists have recently suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Oh! Ah! I told you not to drink alcohol and beer. Otherwise, you all go out walking like this, “Hallooo! What is the lipstick that you put on there? Can I borrow (it)?” Alright so, no beer drinking! That’s according to the scientists of this book. So, the theory is that drinking beer makes a man turn into a woman. Oh, how? Even if they try, how? Something might be missing.
To test… OK, laugh it out, I don’t care. To test the finding, whether it’s true or not, a hundred men were fed six pints of lager each. It means for a long time. It was then observed that a hundred percent of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense,… Oh! …became overly emotional… Geez! …couldn’t drive,… How did you get here? How did you women get here? …failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned. I don’t believe this stuff!
I’ll read this one. I hope it’s not another “feminist”! Are we really like that, men? (No!) I mean, from the man’s point of view. I mean, not about me, I mean women. (No!) No, no! It is nonsense! Some woman haters! (Some crazy beer drinker.) Beer drinkers! Drink too much beer, and have no more sense, right? Maybe.
Oh, talking about banana, there’s a joke here, “Going Bananas!” A gorilla(-person) walks into a bar and orders a pint of lager. Must be a man’s bar, no? A man-gorilla. The barman… man also, charges him five quid, like five pounds, and after looking at him for a while, says, “Do you know, you are the first gorilla(-person) we have had in here for ages.” “I’m not bloody surprised!” said the gorilla(-person). Must be an English gorilla(-person). Replied the gorilla(-person), “I’m not bloody surprised, at a fiver a pint.” It’s too expensive! That’s why gorilla(-people) don’t go and drink. Understand? Not a very good joke. Meanwhile.
We were talking about the system of the man choosing a woman for three years on trial, to see if he likes her or not. That is not too bad after all. Because maybe the woman won’t like him after three years. And one more thing, people still do that nowadays anyway, right? They date each other or stay together for a while until they’re sure. So in Âu Lạc (Vietnam) before, I mean old times, there’s a system called “Ở rể,” means the groom-to-be goes to stay with the parents-in-law, the wife’s parents, for three years. Or two-three years. I think three years. Right, Aulacese (Vietnamese) people? Stay with the wife’s family for three years? (Yes. Yes, three years.) OK. During these three years, you’re not supposed to really contact the wife, but they do it anyway, with a ladder or something. When nobody knows, when they’re sleeping. So, after the three years, if the parents of the girl think that the boy is good enough to marry her, then they would let him. Not like this way around, after three years, if the girl’s good enough, he will marry her. It could be the other way around too.
So anyway, it’s also a good testing system, no? There are so many systems. Like this, in three years, the man must prove himself to be able, strong, good provider, temperate, good mood, good temper, and very diligent. Oh, that means he can work the heck out of himself, and you never know if the parents will “OK” or “not OK.” Because the parents may be desperate for some helper, and pick a guy who is in love with their daughter and make him work for three years, and then get another guy for three years! I don’t think it happened that often, but it could be the other way around, as opposed to the system that we have just read by the Essenes. It’s just something fun. It doesn’t matter really. Because there are also other systems – they also work. Like, the groom and the bride never know each other, never even see each other. Maybe peeping, maybe the girl’s peeping and looking at him when he comes, but the boy would never see his wife before marriage. So, there are many systems. And there are also some systems, like… Oh, God. Whenever I’m on retreat, there’s always something. Are you OK? How come only me? (Our karma.) No, I wouldn’t say I’m blaming you. It’s just, why me?
Anyway, where were we? There are even some systems, some very strange systems. So every system is probably also according to the custom of the situation, of the land that they live in. It did not necessarily come from the order of the religion, of that religion. Probably at that time, everybody must marry, and marriage was very highly valued in their custom, so, if this order goes against the trend of society, they might not be able to survive. Just like you live according to your country’s laws, things like that. Or obey the ruler of your country, things like that. So they probably incorporate that into their doctrine.
