Even the demon of memory, even this might not be your memory, he can make it. He’s so powerful. You are already on the eleventh, twelfth state of mind already, of enlightenment already, if he can fool you like this, that means he is so powerful. He can create anything to fool you. He can create your fake memories as well, to make you sad, to make you feel helpless, lost and lose faith in your practice.
(It reminded me of Master going to the Himalayas without any fear and no direction, nothing. You could have fallen down in the snow. You had courage to go there.)
Well, I was young and invincible. Young people, they do all kinds of things. Just because I thought if bathing in the Ganges source, I would cleanse my karma, then I would do that. (I am just lazy, sitting on my sofa, not able to do meditation, and You went to the Himalayas.)
It’s OK, we are different. Thank you for being so humble. We are different. There’s no need to compare. I am because I am; you are because you are. But you practice, you believe in me, and I’m so glad already. One more person liberated in the world, that influences your five, six, seven, eight, nine generations. And your energy influences around you in your country, helping your country better and better.
I’m very grateful already. There’s no need for everybody to go to the Himalayas. Just like in your district, there’s one doctor, enough. Not everybody has to go and learn medicine, and all become doctors. For what? I’m not saying that to you because I’m proud. I’m just happy. It’s good that my wish came true. And if you really sincerely wish anything, it will come true. Just make sure you wish good.
(Master, I have a humble request. I am zero and I want to surrender my soul to You, and I want to progress.)
You will, you will. All of you will, if you practice and be good. That’s all I ask. As long as you don’t harm anyone and you meditate and you still have faith in me, you will go high. Even without helping anything else. Just don’t harm anyone.
Because I was in India. I was already practicing the Quan Yin Method, but I was probably in your stage. So, I thought, what else can I do to make me more available, more valued to the world? So, people said, I heard Indian people, they go on pilgrims, they do this, they do that. They go to different shrines of the Masters of the past, to bow to Them and go deep into the ice water, to cleanse the karma, whatever. I did all that just in case, in case I still had some problem. Or I just did whatever I could, that’s it. That was all there was. You do your best, OK? No need to go to the Himalayas. You already have what the Himalayas cannot give you.
I was different. I was young and eager. But if I’d known what I know now, maybe I wouldn’t have dared to go. I tell you I was young. When we are young, we just don’t think too much. We just do what we want to do. And especially these things, they are not harmful to anyone. This is just according to Buddhism, according to Christianity; I was doing the good thing at that time. I did not think so much. I was too concentrated on God, in love with God. Nothing else mattered.
When you’re too one pointed at something you forget anything else. You really don’t think. You don’t even have the thinking of “think” in your mind. You just want to do that. Just like here, and now, anybody, if you didn’t have to go out, you wouldn’t go. You just want to sit here because you want to concentrate on my talk. You like it. Similarly, I was young at that time. I just wanted to be enlightened as quickly as possible.
Not to boast, this is the thing. You can want enlightenment, so that you can go out and preach. I had never thought that I’d be a Master, never, ever. Even though I’d been sought out two, three, four times, I still never thought. You don’t know you are a Master; that is the thing. So, if you say you are a Master, forget it.
But the thing I know now was revealed to me by Heavens, by High Heavens. And I even threatened them, “If you tell me lies, if you want to boost my ego, I will reckon with you.” I threatened them, so they said, “No, no, we don’t dare. We worship You. We’re so happy that You are here in the world. We are so glad; we are so grateful.” They were so humble like that and revealed to me. Not that I asked and not that I tried to find out how big I am or anything, no, no. Even now, I don’t feel anything big. I just feel I’m a teacher explaining some sutras to you.
Whatever happens, this is the inside power, not outside. I told you, even if I wanted to, it would have consequences. And I even made a very poisonous vow to all the Buddhas and Gods, whoever witnessed. I said, “If I’ve ever gone wrong, gone astray, so that I will harm or mislead others, please just destroy me immediately, destroy me completely. Don’t let me harm anyone by misleading others.” I made a poisonous vow like that years ago.
Because at that time, people already began to come to me and ask me to give initiation and advice and all that. And I did not know I was a Master of any sort or any level, nothing. Of course, I saw some inside just like you, but who knows where you are; you know, not confident. So, I had to make a strong vow like that. I said, “If I ever harm anyone, knowingly or unknowingly, please just destroy me.”
Just like that, because I really don’t want to mislead anyone. If I was not there, then they might be able to find a good Master, a real Master. I was nobody and just blah blah blah and then I’d obstruct them because most people are innocent. They’re pure, they don’t even know who’s a Master, who’s not, and I just sit there and be a Master. Meanwhile if I was not, if I did wrong, if I was mistaken, then I obstructed them from going to another good Master. That’s why I said, “Destroy me if I’m wrong, if I’m on the wrong path, if I am not what people think I am, or if I’m not able to teach or really lead people on the right path, just destroy me. I don’t care if my soul is completely annihilated.”
We go back to the Buddha. I am forever grateful to Buddha that He lived long and forever grateful to the scribes who wrote all this down and to Ananda and to all the translators, forever grateful. Every time I read, I’m grateful inside.
“Further,” the Buddha said. “Further, in this state of samadhi, the good person sees the disintegration of the form skandha and understands the feeling skandha. With no new realization immediately ahead of him, and having lost his former status as well, his power of wisdom weakens, and he enters an impasse, in which he sees nothing to anticipate. Suddenly a feeling of tremendous monotony and thirst arises in his mind. At all times he is fixated in memories that do not disperse.” “He mistakes this for a sign of diligence and vigor.” That means he’s so diligent, vigorously practicing, so he mistakes that. “This is called ‘cultivating the mind but losing oneself due to a lack of wisdom.’ If he understands, then there is no error. This experience does not indicate sagehood.” As usual. My God. Where will we go?
“But if he considers himself a sage, then a demon of memory will enter his mind.” What kind of demon? A memory demon, can you believe that? It sounds harmless, but it’s not. Will enter his mind. “Day and night, it will hold his mind suspended in one place. Lacking proper samadhi,” means wisdom, “he will certainly fall.” Oh, my God. OK, memory. Should I explain to you or you understand what it is? (Yes. Please!)
It’s like this. You know memories, right? It’s not all pleasant. Memory is the past anyway, right? And we did many bad things in the past, life after life, we cannot remember all. But I wonder. Let me explain first. Remind me of my wonder, OK? Because maybe I blah, blah on, carry on, forget again, all the time. Because so many things to say and which one is priority, sometimes I forget. One thing will lead to another and then you forget that one.
Memories are not always pleasant. All of us don’t have 100% good memories. All of you know that. And this person who enters samadhi but is stuck, because now he lost all the things that he gained before now. Before, he could see things, he could feel all expanses of the universe, he could see the Buddha’s mind and know the teachings and all that. He could even preach and now he had nothing. He entered the winter of the soul, or the darkness, the night of the practitioners. Maybe the Fourth Level. Don’t know yet.
Fourth Level beginning is dark. Later on, your Light shines and everybody’s Light shines, so the whole Fourth Level is also very bright. Just the buffer zone is dark. That place is to stop any of the Three Worlds to enter the Fifth. That’s the border buffer zone, so nobody can enter the Fourth Level without a guide. Without Master, you can’t go there; no guarantee. You go there, you might be disintegrated or lost in this kind of memory sadness, whatever, forever. Just the guard fence at the beginning of that, but later it’s fine, then you’re free. When you pass that, you’re free. And then slowly you go to the Fifth, if you have Master. If you don’t have, then you’re also OK on the Fourth Level. If you cannot go further, then Fourth Level, you’re free already. You’re free. You don’t have to reincarnate anywhere if you don’t want to. And you are already a saint, some sort; not highest, but saint.
Now, the memories, if you’re stuck in there, and you lost your spiritual power that you have gained, or left behind you, you enter this stage of winter of the soul. You are empty inside. You’re blind outside and all that rests with you now are memories. Memories could be some good, but mostly are bad. From different lifetimes, all come, and you are stuck in that reservoir of memories. Imagine how you’d feel. You’re powerless, right? You can’t get out. You can’t forget it. Because the demon of memory will hold your mind steady right there to make you suffer.
Oh, my God. You’re already so high and the demons still can torture you like that. Imagine if you don’t have a Master, how would you fare? So, some of the meditating people, they just copy here, copy there, and they meditate. That is why some of them go insane. Truly like that. And even be put into jail; it is true.
So, you have to hold on to the Five (Holy) Names that protect you. And you have the Gift now; both protect you. And have to hold on to Master Power. Have faith. OK? Because let’s face it, I teach you nothing wrong. I don’t teach you to do anything bad. And you have some proof.
Memories are bad. (Your wondering, Master.) Wondering. OK, yes, yes, good, good.
I was suddenly wondering, who was the Buddha talking about? Because if he has initiation… Oh no, yeah, we still can go wrong. Even after initiation, if your mind is not faithful to the teaching of the Buddha, if you don’t believe in the Buddha 100%, if you don’t practice what the Buddha taught you, your mind could be tricking you into a different kind of stage and even bring back your memories.
I was wondering, because I thought after initiation, all the past karma has been stopped, only the present lifetime karma to hold on to, because otherwise you will die immediately if you have no reason to live here. If you have no give and take, no exchange of karma, or with the beings on this planet, then you just have to go. You’re gone. No matter where; gone out of this world. At least temporarily, if your level is low; and forever, if you have a better spiritual evolution, or the Master takes you higher. Now, I was wondering like that, that’s all. But I think that’s what it is.
Perhaps that’s why some of you are still doing silly things, even though you are the Buddha. Because you don’t know you’re Buddha and you carry on with your habits or with your other influences from society and your family or your lover or your friends, whatever. So, it’s happening, it could be happening.
Even the demon of memory, even this might not be your memory, he can make it. He’s so powerful. You are already on the eleventh, twelfth state of mind already, of enlightenment already, if he can fool you like this, that means he is so powerful. He can create anything to fool you. He can create your fake memories as well, to make you sad, to make you feel helpless, lost and lose faith in your practice.
I also wonder how you can be so good, sit so long on the floor, all day and then even sometimes you stray a little bit from your position, but still you sit all day and at night also. And for that I really feel very appreciative. I appreciate that, that you try so mightily. Wonderful. It just keeps your minds strong, not just the position. What I mean is, keep your mind straight. It’s even more important than your body straight.
It’s the next one now. “Further, Ananda, in this state of samadhi, the good person sees the disintegration of the form skandha and understands the feeling skandha. At that time, he has a sublime vision and is overwhelmed with gratitude.”
Some of you have that. They always say, “Master, I’m so thankful to You. I just saw the Buddhas or Jesus.” Whatever. Some of you probably have entered this stage, overwhelmed with gratitude. I see you everywhere in these sections. Crying, gratitude, feeling lost, feeling sad, feeling happy; these all will pass.
He had a sublime vision. Wow! Sublime vision. Not normal vision, up to now already so cool, but sublime vision and he’s overwhelmed with gratitude. In this situation, he suddenly has tremendous courage. Oh, I told you this already. Because he’s too anxious to excel in cultivation. Too hurried to be Buddha when you’re not ready.
A child needs to learn to walk first, baby steps before he can run. If you run too fast, you fall and you hurt yourself. Wherever you are, you’re good there. Of course you want to be a Buddha, but you cannot force the issue. You want to realize your Buddhahood, but you must be slow. Must be at ease, just be at ease. Continue to do what you do, be good, OK? Be good and be faithful, be concentrating. Be compassionate and then whatever comes, will come.
I have never, even wherever I was before, I never thought, imagined, believed, that one day I’d sit here explaining this difficult sutra to you, which I never understood one word of before. The Buddhist masters gave me; they thought I was worthy already. First, they gave me a small little sutra. “Namo Quan Yin Bodhisattva,” something like that. Namo Bodhisattva, something like that. Amitabha Buddha, easy. Just recite His name and you’ll be cool. And slowly, they gave me another sutra. They said, “OK, now you can read this.” Not they’re all giving this to me. No!
At that time, I didn’t know many sutras like this. And in the foreign land, you can’t get this. In Europe, there’re not many Buddhist temples. Where do you get this kind of thing? My teacher, Buddhist, they brought it with them, some in Aulacese (Vietnamese) and then they gave me the Lotus Sutra after I evolved. So, they gave me a better sutra. Before, they said, “No, you don’t touch that. You cannot.” Not worthy, too low. But then later, somehow, they trusted me. They gave me some other sutras to read. And they gave me this also. I understood nothing. What is skandha, feeling, samadhi, brightness, visions of ten directions, Buddha’s mind, demon. Demons and Buddha, I understood nothing. And now, of course, I never even imagined, not even thought of “I could imagine,” could not even imagine “to think,” that one day I’d sit here and expound this sutra to you.
